As you selflessly help yourself to my nightmares

My eyes freeze over and you can no longer drown in them.

I push you away in hopes that I may not damage you further.

Gasping for air, I try to release my grip on you, but I only choke you harder.

I pull you down trying to save myself watching you turn blue in the face.

Tried loving you my dear, but it was all one sided. You were the fighter and I just let you swing without making contact...

Watched as you tired out and collapsed in loss.

Glistening in the ghost of my past, I attempted to feel,
But all is becoming numb and I only seize your life for my own selfish reason
Trying to gain warmth.

Wishing I could stop hurting you as I am.

My fingers claw at your face, and you cry tears of blood at the hand of my head.

But yet you cling to my dress, begging me to stay with tears in your eyes

Begging for me to just try and swim on my own.

I need to push you down and away, but I want to pick you up and caress you,

My daggers digging into your sides.

Inserting my tools of choice into your heart and twisting…

Wrapping it around my finger as I pull them out.

A taste so pure, I lick my fingers with satisfaction and disgust.

Too sweet, then too sour…bitter and saccharine.

Instead, I hold off only causing you to fall painfully, and break as you lay face down.
I am killing the both of us by offering indecisive follies.

Up to my eyes in water,

The glaciers floating like bodies on the surface.
Cement blocks ‘round my feet, and ropes wrapped ‘round my wrists…
I am still sinking and I am taking you with me hoping that we will float.
I am killing the both of us even when I know there is no hope.